Life and Love

How can I love myself a little moreWe have all heard the saying if you cant love yourself then how will you be able to love anyone else. It took years and years for me to really, really understand it and get my head around it, but it raises one of the most common questions I get asked as a Singles Coach.

How can I love myself a little more?

This is a massive topic so I’m going to break it up into a few posts but as the best place to start is at the beginning, here goes.

To love yourself you have to accept yourself. Accept yourself for all the features and personality traits that make you who you are and that make you unique and special. Of course there are things about ourselves me can modify, we can loose a few pounds, dye our hair or get contact lenses if glasses aint for us, but who we really are can never be changed and should never be changed.

Sit somewhere quietly, take a few deep breaths then take a few moments to really love and appreciate yourself, this may be a strange and unfamiliar feeling as it may have been a long time since anyone has. trust me it gets easier to do the more you do it. Say three things out loud that you love about yourself and these can be anything from, “I have a nice smile” to “I am kind to animals and those less fortunate than me.” Start with little things if this is hard. Something like “I always smile at the cleaner at work, not many people do” or “I always get to work on time.” Do this everyday for a week and write what you discover down. At the end of the week I want you to look over what you have written. Add anything else that comes to mind now.

This exercise helps us to accept the fact that we really aren’t as bad as we thought we were. I use it to create a familiarity with positive recognition. Some people have been down on themselves for such a long period of time, that when something positive or complimentary is said it doesn’t register or it is taken as sarcasm or as a hurtful joke. Once we have accepted that there are positive things about us, finding new positive aspects become easier and easier to deal with and to fully accept.

In my next blog I’ll share how to start loving yourself more on the inside and the outside.

Till then take care

Alex

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